Out Walking My Pet Peeve (Kid Stuff)

Some of the very best lessons in life are learned at a very young age.  My Mom never let a learning moment pass and the words of one of her drills still echo to this day....."Always say please and thank you."  Simple and straight-forward, that's all she would say until the next opportunity arose which undoubtedly followed much sooner than she had hoped.  Then again came the painlessly uncomplicated, "Always say please and thank you."  Likewise, those two little pearls of wisdom were often rejoined with a third  - "You're welcome."  

Nearly 70 years have passed since those lessons were taught and dare I say ingrained.  

The other day Jamie and I had dinner out and the waiter asked "Would you like all the fixin's with your baked potato?".  In an effort to tone down my enthusiasm, I simply replied "Yes, please."  Within minutes our meals arrived and they looked wonderful.  As the waiter finished placing the dishes on the table, he inquired, "Is there anything else I can do for you?".  To which I responded "No.  Everything looks great.  Thank you."  Then, following the natural course of conversation, the young man answered, "Of course."  (Insert soundtrack of glass shattering.)  

Now, at the risk of sounding petty or cranky or whatever, I've got to ask you, what in the name of God's blue planet does "Of course" mean?  Whether it be restaurants, check-out lines or any other social exchange, "Of course" has all too often become the last spoken phrase between two people as they part ways.  That is troubling to me.  Oh, not exactly global warming paradigm troubling but bothersome to the degree that whenever the frame "You're welcome" is bypassed the world loses a tad little bit of civility and an opportunity to practice deference is lost.      

As with all communication there invariably exist the unspoken pitfalls of implication together with the unheard perils of inference.  I almost always infer from "Of course" that my counterpart is saying, "Of course, I did that for you.  I'm a good person.  Why wouldn't I?"  Worse yet, certain voice inflections scream, "Of course.  It's my job.  Now knock off the chit chat and let me get back to work."  All of which leaves me, the speaker's audience, feeling not unlike a distant spectator at best and somewhat of a nuisance at worst.  However, having said all that, perhaps I'm just being over sensitive.  I concede that the person may in fact be implying, "Of course, I did that for you.  You're a good person and it was my pleasure in helping you."  However, you have to admit, I've got a lot of inference going on there.  Hence the problem, what is really being said?

On the other hand, when the term "You're welcome" is used, the intended implication is, "You're welcome.  I was happy to do that for you because you are worthy of my effort."  With the emphasis being that the hearer is a good person along with the hope that the listener will infer the same.

The really sad part of all this is the suspicion that the vast majority of people in this day and age don't have the time to give such minutia even a second thought.     

It drives me crazy!  Yes, yes, I hear you, it's a very short trip.

Regardless, for the sake of my sanity if nothing else, the next time someone has occasion to tell you "Thank you", please, hesitate just a second, and think if "Of course" is really the reply to want to give....or does "You're welcome" convey your message better.  

Thank you for humoring an old man.  I feel better now.   

And all God's people said......